Stephen King is my favorite author (when I read books). That’s why I was intrigued when I noticed Desperation, directed by Mick Garris and starring Hellboy. Ron Perlman was actually the best part of the whole movie. He plays a deranged sheriff who likes to talk smack and whose face gets progressively worse in moderation. It’s too bad all of a sudden he is nowhere to be found halfway through, although the character who replaces his is also very good.

This made for TV movie did pretty good considering most efforts for the small screen are watered down and subdued. It did not have a grand scare factor nor did it have a lot of characters I cared about. The only one I had sympathy for was the overly religious kid because he lost the most and overcame.

If you don’t like creepy crawlies like snakes and spiders, or you don’t like to get close to dogs, this film might actually scare you. Most of the effects were high quality. Most. There is a quasi-flashback sequence where there are two China men about to be hanged. The ridiculousness that comes next made me laugh my ass off. There, spoiler free.

Desperation was a solid effort that ends up having more of a religious theme as you might think from the front-end. It makes you think about what you might do in the characters’ position. It made me question why I was watching this mediocre TV program when I could have been taking a gander at Emily Rose. 3 Devil rocks out of 5.

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“WHO IS EMILY ROSE AND IS SHE SINGLE?!”