Children Of The Corn

For certain movies you need to keep an open mind. Children Of The Corn stretches that idea a little too far. Apparently, this movie is a cult classic and I can understand the cult part because it didn’t do too much for me.

As you must know by now, I am a Stephen King fanboy. I tacked this one on the list precisely for that one reason.  From the get go the two main characters are believable and it shows that the actors had fun with their roles. They say what people would really say in their situation including a large helping of sarcasm from the male lead (Peter Horton). They end up in a town that is run by kids who murdered all of the adults. Wait. How is that possible? How did a bunch of kids not get overpowered by a town full of adults? You would think that at least a few adults somewhere in town would fight off the kids and survive. That would have added more to the story if the outsiders made it into town and eventually met up with the remaining adults in hiding. But that didn’t happen.

The eeriest element was the leader of the children. I don’t know if John Franklin is always a creepy guy or if his acting brought it out but I would not want to go near him. Despite being only a kid, with his professional attire and the things he said it made him come off as an adult with a squeaky voice and a height problem. Mordecai (Courtney Gains), Franklin’s right hand kid, was another one that made me uneasy.

The negative side is that the film gets goofy real fast. Apparently, behind every mailbox and in every bush there were children waiting with weapons when a foreign car just happens to roll into town. It’s amazing how the couple is so oblivious to the spying kids. They come to a house with one little girl inside. Apparently, Horton doesn’t think that is weird and tells his wife to stay with the girl while he investigates the rest of the barren ghost town where, according to the girl, there are bad people hiding. So why is he so surprised when he learns that his wife has been captured while he left her in an abandoned house with a mysterious girl! There is more to the reason that they are trying to find people ASAP, but still I would have taken my wife and got the hell out of there. There are poor decisions galore throughout the entire movie.

The welcome committee.

Further on, Mordecai brings Horton’s captured wife into the center of town with a posse planning to bait and capture Horton. He proceeds to stand in the middle of the street and scream at the top of his lungs at Horton. Horton could be on the other side of town. How does Mordecai know he can hear him? There were many times I thought about putting my palm over my face.

The movie wasn’t scary in the least and I’m sure the book was more frightening. It must have been more thrilling when it hit the big screen back in ’84 because I can’t see how people still talk about it today. The finale was decent, except for the stupid random leftover girl waiting in their car. You actually see “He who walks behind the rows” and it ends in a fiery bang. Why can’t movies be good for the entirety of the film? It seems that they are lopsided in quality from beginning to end. I guess that’s why I don’t hand out 5 stars to every movie I watch. Certainly not this one. I give Children Of The Corn 3 drought-defying stalks out of 5.

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