BRIDE OF CHUCKY

Bride of Chucky. Speaking the title out loud should be enough to steer you away from watching. Fair enough, you’d rather not risk it, it would probably be a waste of time. Luckily, there is a man (well, part-man) who braves films like this so you don’t have to. His duty is clear—he must wade through the cesspools of shit, searching for a diamond in the rough. When that gem is found he celebrates! Tonight, however, there will be no such festivity.

This little bastard weasels his way from a trilogy into an unwarranted franchise milking every remaining possible angle. He doesn’t just stop with a bride. He has to go and have a kid and then finally a complete rebirth, but I’ll save those sequels for another day. Most likely one where I’m bored and hating everything about my grotesque existence. In case you haven’t guessed the plot from the indecipherable title, Chucky gets married.

A new doll is introduced, providing fuel for what the marketing team must have creatively dubbed a “dual-doll effect”. She teams up with Chucky for a road trip in the back of Katherine Heigl’s (Knocked Up, Romantic Comedy: The Series) boyfriend’s van to find a grave site housing a magical amulet that puts trapped souls back into bodies (with minor lack of detail, I’m not making this up). Usually, Katherine Heigl is my melting point, but I managed to keep my cool. What came next was a complete surprise.

While not retaining an ounce of creepiness from it’s forefathers, Bride of Chucky is actually funny. From the constant bickering between newlyweds to Chucky’s outrageous cackling, the doll duo brings some laughs along all the way to the graveyard. On second thought, maybe not all the way to the graveyard. Whatever laughter BoC creates quickly dissipates and the viewer is left with the bare skeleton of bad acting, cheesy one-liners, and an abysmal plot. It is fun while it lasts, but besides a scene depicting a graphic killing involving a mirror on the ceiling, there is nothing to make up for the abundant lack of scares. This is definitely one to categorize specifically as comedy/horror. If I was foolish enough to purchase tickets to see Bride of Chucky in the theater, this would be my “I WANT MY MONEY BACK!” face.