Stephen King is my thing. These crows have wings and like to peck at things. I eat chicken wings. Be thankful I’m just a movie-loving monster and not a rapper.

The Dark Half had two things going for it in my book, being a King adaptation and being a George Romero project. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the worst King movie I had ever seen. Lame acting and terrible writing was only spared meagerly by Michael Rooker’s (Guardians of the Galaxy, The Walking Dead) supporting role. An inherently shaky premise gives birth to a boring, illogical story with a disastrous resolution. I would only recommend this if you are a fan of the source material, but even then it might be even more of a disappointment to you. Keep this one dead and buried.

2 feet of dirt to get you started out of 5

★★☆☆☆