If you are already familiar with the MASSACRE MARATHON you might have noticed I tend to watch and review some movies I have previously seen. From now on I will do a better job indicating which films are not virgin endeavors at the start of the review. The reason for the repeats is that I don’t want to miss out on classics and favorites every season just for the sake of charting new horror territory. Coincidentally, the characters in tonight’s film find out just how dangerous probing into unidentified territory can be. The territory of our creators, specifically.

Prometheus is a film by Ridley Scott and serves as a precursor to the Alien franchise. Before it’s release many MANY fans of the franchise were getting all hyped up. They were trying to predict the plot and how much it would relate to the established Alien canon. People were EXCITED. Finally, the awesome trailer was released with the classic throbbing siren filling the viewer with terror and suspense.  Then the theatrical release came and went. Almost everyone I have asked has told me they thought the movie was rubbish and didn’t make any sense. Plot holes and not enough alien. The characters were stupid. It was too long. It was boring and not scary. The results were in: F-

Well, I originally saw Prometheus in theaters and to all the haters I say “FUCK THAT”! I’m sorry the fan-favorite alien creature wasn’t in every scene. What did you expect, a carbon copy of the first Alien? A 20 minute finale featuring the birth of Ripley? Honestly, I think everyone was so hopped up on what they have already seen that they weren’t ready for something new and different. They needed to look closer.

When I left the theater with my dad he asked me if I understood the opening scene and about some other parts. I admitted I was still trying to take it all in and I couldn’t rationalize some of the events that took place. It turned out that I had indeed missed a few key elements. He filled me in with some simple explanations that enlightened me to the genius that is Prometheus. You see, when we first left the theater, walking through the parking lot to the car, I wasn’t sure how much I actually enjoyed the film. However, during the car ride home, post-explanation, I slowly pieced together the puzzle of Prometheus and realized how great it really was!

The movie has a ton of symbolism. There are conspiracy freaks out there (see: Room 237) that could tear this movie to pieces finding every tidbit from start to finish and probably things that aren’t even there at all. Prometheus is so rich in detail that the trivia section on IMDB is loaded with 53 separate facts! I know some of them are about the production of the film and not things directly on-screen but still..! Speaking of IMDB, the collective user rating is 7.1 and on MetaCritic it boasts a 65 (which is in the green for a movie).  Looks like there ARE some sensible movie-goers out there! Up until now, all I have seen is a general disdain for this movie everywhere I’ve turned.

Prometheus centers on a crew of interstellar researchers and scientists of all kinds barreling their way towards a new star system. They are searching for answers about the creators of all living things on Earth, specifically the human race. They found a bunch of messages from various points in our history that suggest there are alien beings out there that want us to reconnect with them on their home planet. Needless to say, things don’t turn out exactly to plan.

(Some very mild, tamed and potty-trained spoilers ahead!)

One thing haters might spew is that this movie shouldn’t be categorized as a horror movie. I can attest to the fact that none of the scenes in this film made me jump, but there were many scenes that made me feel a sense of dread. Watching this for the second time I was worried that I might notice some new things that would make me disown my initial glowing response. Luckily, that didn’t turn out to be the case! In fact, there were some parts I didn’t even remember being as intense in the theater! For example, the sandstorm on the alien planet. On my subsequent viewing I tried to imagine myself in the scientist’s shoes. If you were being whipped around in a behemoth of a natural disaster on a foreign planet you would most likely pee your pants a little! It wasn’t just a run of the mill sandstorm, either. Close ups of the massive clouds revealed large splinters of rock being hurled around!

Another scene tickled my scary bone. Let’s just call it the “Facemelter Scene”. You might think it involves some dude flipping his heavy metal hair around shredding a sweet guitar solo, but its the complete opposite. The meat of the scene happens in only a few seconds but the image has been burned into my mind (NOT my face). The amount of pain this researcher must have been going through is unfathomable. Picture someone wearing Saran wrap on their face but the wrap is actually made out of hot glue. Yeah. Brutal. This brings me to my favorite scene. It involves an automated surgical pod that performs an unorthodox procedure. This part made me squirm like a squid. Come to think of it, it kind of involved a squid-like creature. Get away from me with that calamari!!!

The character’s back stories in Prometheus are so subtly woven that you could sit there and ponder what their lives weere like before the expedition for hours. Sometimes this can be frustrating in certain circumstances but I feel this film pulls it off well and I do not see why the hater’s gotta hate about it. They claim the motives behind some of the crew are cloudy and don’t exist but they’re supposed to be portrayed as murky, shadowy figures hiding behind the thin guise of the other scientists’ mission.

I can confirm that there are barely (wink-wink) any original Alien-type monsters in the movie. I was a little peeved by this too but you have to realize that this whole project isn’t Alien. It’s a prequel. It’s about what happened before the Alien came to be. So don’t see the film if this fact will get your panties in a twist; you’ll just be wasting your time.

Of course some things could have maybe been better in Prometheus, but that can be said about any film in any genre. No one movie is going to be perfect and they will certainly never meet the expectations of all the fan-boys on the internet, but I feel Prometheus exceeded my expectations. It just took a short conversation with my father for me to comprehend why.

Thanks Dad.

5 tickled scary bones out of 5


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