A true diamond in the rough, The Greenskeeper kept me green throughout its entirety. It’s a comedy-horror commodity that (barely) stars MLB pitcher John Rocker as a mutilated employee at a country club. A murder spree has broken out and bratty teens are being bumped off every which way, with plenty of jokes in between. All poor assistant greenskeeper Allen (Allelon Ruggiero [Dead Poets Society]) wants is for his bitch girlfriend to let him be and to enjoy his birthday. His girlfriend is so mean that I wonder why she dates him in the first place. Oh, right, country club benefits.

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