A true diamond in the rough, The Greenskeeper kept me green throughout its entirety. It’s a comedy-horror commodity that (barely) stars MLB pitcher John Rocker as a mutilated employee at a country club. A murder spree has broken out and bratty teens are being bumped off every which way, with plenty of jokes in between. All poor assistant greenskeeper Allen (Allelon Ruggiero [Dead Poets Society]) wants is for his bitch girlfriend to let him be and to enjoy his birthday. His girlfriend is so mean that I wonder why she dates him in the first place. Oh, right, country club benefits.

The whole reason there is a wave of slutty, vulnerable kids for the evil greenskeeper to murder is because Allen’s girlfriend convinces him to sneak back into the club after dark to have a party. Of course Allen gives in because, as his Latina crush puts it, he’s whipped. Soon after the gates are unlocked and the party begins, a malevolent force starts taking lives quicker than lightning.

I don’t know what it was about this movie, but in the midst of all of the creative, gore-filled set piece kills and the frat house humor, I found The Greenskeeper to be very enjoyable! I respected its choice to take a tongue-in-cheek approach right out of the gate. If more C-grade films like it took this to heart instead of pretending to be fine art cinema they would be better off. I would recommend this movie to anyone who can laugh in the face of triple A films, if only for one night. I might also recommend being drunk. While I wasn’t intoxicated this time, I might try it for the second viewing.

★★★★☆

4 blood spewing sprinklers out of 5