MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D

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My Bloody Valentine…no, not that one! Ugh…FINE! My Bloody Valentine 3D is the 2009 remake/sequel to the 1981 slasher film of the same name- minus the 3D of course.

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THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

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“Who will survive and what will be left of them?” The genius tagline only scratches the surface of how grisly, how heinous The Texas Chainsaw Massacre really is. This classic film shocked audiences when it was released in 1974 and still chills to the bone to this day. I had the pleasure of showing it to Mrs. Manster for the first time and she was genuinely shaken to the core. That says a lot for a movie that old!

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HALLOWEEN H20: 20 YEARS LATER

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Halloween H20: 20 Years Later isn’t only a redundant title, it’s a notch in the timeline of a another slasher series taken way too far. What is it that has propelled the sequels for Freddy, Jason, Michael, and friends for so long? Mainly the low budget needed to make these types of films as well as the blind support ladled out by die-hard fans and people in search of a cheap scare alike. I for one am sick of the Halloween series up to this point. The previous three installments left me bitter at the ones responsible for pumping out those idiotic cash-ins.

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A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4: THE DREAM MASTER

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Another year, another MASSACRE MARATHON, another sequel in a classic franchise. A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master takes the series further into bizarre territory. Freddy is back and he is (you guessed it!) killing high-schoolers again. He is targeting the remaining teens who shut his shit down in the previous film and won’t stop until they are all dead.

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THE FINAL GIRLS

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The Final Girls (not to be confused with Final Girl) is a comedy/horror film about the daughter, Taissa Farmiga (American Horror Story), of a washed up scream queen, Malin Akerman (Watchmen). Max always admired her mother’s work, even when Nancy didn’t herself. When Nancy passes away, Max agrees to make an appearance at a film festival showcasing her mother’s films. A disaster ensues and Max, along with a few friends, get magically transported into her mother’s movie “Camp Bloodbath”.

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HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS

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One might think I of all people would be thrilled to watch a movie with Halloween in the title, but I certainly was apprehensive of Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers. If you have experienced the hogwash on display in 4 and 5 you understand why I was concerned. Halloween: TCoMM, or more simply Halloween 6, takes place yet again in the town of Haddonfield where, yet again, Michael Myers returns to cause a ruckus during his favorite holiday.

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31

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Love him or hate him, Rob Zombie has left his mark on the horror industry. His films are always graphic journeys into the DEPRAVED and 31 is no different. What started as a crowd-funded project has now finally hit the big screen (very briefly) to most critics’ dismay. While I didn’t hate 31, I wouldn’t say I was too thrilled either.

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