CUBE ZERO ft. Invasion on Chestnut Ridge + Club Dread

On the cusp of Saw breaking big, Cube Zero was the final attempt at propelling this franchise about people being stuck in elaborate traps into the mainstream. Directed by Cube 2: Hypercube producer Ernie Barbarash, it is the third film in the bunch and a prequel to the original. It showcases not only the amnesiac captives navigating the ever-shifting prison but also the guards in the control room tasked with watching over the mayhem.

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SEED OF CHUCKY ft. Vampire’s Kiss + The Ruins

The pint-sized terror is back yet again to impregnate our burnt-out brains with another sequel. Seed of Chucky is the Child’s Play franchise’s open letter stating they are officially off the rails. Turning back from this is not an option.

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HIGH TENSION ft. Psychomanteum + Haunt

High Tension (aka Switchblade Romance in the UK) resides in the elite circle of horror favorites that helped shape me into the Manster I am today. It might be my top foreign film, my #1 foreign horror for sure. 17 years removed it holds up perfectly intact today.

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TRICK OR TREATS ft. The Strangers: Prey at Night + Final Exam

Trick or Treats is the bargain bin, off-brand Trick ‘r Treat Mom says you have at home. Not an anthology, the movie is about the son of magicians being babysat on Halloween night by the most gullible sitter in the world. I have to be more careful with which doorbells I ring.

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PATCHWORK ft. Cold Prey + V/H/S/2

Patchwork is the debut feature film by none other than Tyler MacIntyre, director of Good Boy AND the movie I was by chance thinking of watching next, Tragedy Girls.  What a coincidence! Patchwork hits all the proper notes of comedy and grossness a parody horror should hit compared to the lackluster Good Boy. I can only hope that Tragedy Girls leans more in this direction on the quality scale.

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MONSTER ft. V/H/S + American Fright Fest

Patty Jenkins’s (Wonder Woman) directorial debut Monster is a dramatization of the crimes committed by serial killer Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who gunned down more than a few of her johns 30 years ago in Florida. It released in 2003 with Charlize Theron (Mad Max: Fury Road, Bombshell) winning a slew of Best Actress awards for her portrayal of Wuornos. The film beats out Bone Tomahawk for the least-horror choice this MASSACRE MARATHON so far, which isn’t surprising to me since I knew she killed with guns (as opposed to more traditional slasher weapons) going in. Still, I thought the movie might have been more thrilling. 

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MOM AND DAD ft. Sleepaway Camp + The Crazies

Mom and Dad took me by surprise with its speedy approach and upfront humor. Nicholas Cage (Color Out of Space, anything he can get his hands on) and Selma Blair (Hellboy, The Sweetest Thing) star as typical heads of the household who get swept up in a whirlwind of mass hysteria that causes parents to stop at nothing to eliminate their offspring. Written and directed by Brian Taylor, the creator of the Crank movies, so you know you’re in for a wild ride!

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A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5: THE DREAM CHILD ft. The Houses October Built 2 + The Monster

If by “Freddy delivers” they mean extra cheese then what an apt tagline. A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child is not the new Coheed & Cambria album title, but the fifth installment in the popular Freddy Krueger franchise. Although he is the one slinging trashy insults left and right, at this point in his career Freddy has been solidified as the brunt of the jokes.

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THE OMEN ft. Halloween + The House That Jack Built

We are almost at the halfway point of the MASSACRE MARATHON, so I figured it’s about time I revel in a classic. When I think of the top 10 horror movies of all time that shaped what the genre has become today, I would probably be obligated to include The Omen. Not only did it help set the world up for countless evil kid films along with The Exorcist, it showed how little the real antagonist has to do on screen to make you fear them.

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BLADE: TRINITY ft. The Shallows + Maniac Cop 2

I remember not having much interest when Blade: Trinity hit theaters back in 2004. I didn’t know or care who his new sidekicks were (or the actors that played them for that matter, Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds). I wasn’t a giant fan of the source material. I have nothing against Blade, I just haven’t read much of his comic book stuff, so I was never compelled to see it. I don’t even have a clear memory of the events in the first two films, save one iconic bloody rave scene. Now, 16 years later, I have finally gotten around to finishing out the trilogy.

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