OK. NIGHT TWO. BETTER KICK IT UP A NOTCH. THIS LOOKS SCARIER THAN A BUNCH OF MASQUERADING VAMPIRES FROM NEW ZEALAND.

one hour later

THIS STILL ISN’T SCARY.

five minutes later

OHHHHHHHH SHIT WHAT IS THAT!?!?

one half hour later

OH IT’S OVER.

Hello followers. I have just experienced for the first time a romance movie with bits of horror sprinkled on it. A cake I would not like to eat again. This analogy is going nowhere. Frosting.

Let me start over. Spring is a small film about a boy, a girl, and some tentacles. Basically, if you don’t like love stories or…well…I guess just love stories, stay away from this film. Despite a horrific scene clocking in at about thirty seconds in the third act, Spring doesn’t really provide what I was looking for, which was a romance movie that turns to horror part way through. At least, that’s what I was expecting from the trailer.

Make no mistake; I’m not saying Spring isn’t a solid film. The acting surprised me for it being an indie and I’m certain that was in part due to Lou Taylor Pucci’s (Carriers, Evil Dead) charm. Nadia Hilker also did a great job as the female lead, Louise. Together they produced a believable chemistry on screen with a relationship chock full of witty quips and without speeches that belong in something like The Notebook. The problem was, as previously stated, that wasn’t what I was here for. If they scrapped the paper thin shell of a horror movie and kept everything else I would probably place Spring on a higher pedestal.

Another thing that annoyed me was when Louise’s secret is revealed to Pucci’s character, Evan, towards the end of the story, the major things that are necessary for the audience to know just exactly what the fuck is going on is rushed beyond belief. In fact, most of it is explained in scenes where the main characters are rushing around the city streets jogging after one another. I don’t know about you, but I hate those exposition scenes where the they are all talking a mile a minute whilst speed walking down an endless, ever-turning hallway. It is SO DISTRACTING! I think Spring used this as a cover mechanism to deter viewers from questioning the faulty logic of the plot and it cheapened the overall beautiful aura of the film for me.

The ending did surprise me though and went against my prediction of what would ultimately happen in the finale. It made me ponder mortality, the price of the gift of life specifically. Not as strongly as Interstellar did, by any means, but enough to get those same type of juices flowing at least. With that thought, about a minute of shocking material, some humor that caught me off guard, and above average acting I would still only put this DVD on the mediocre shelf. It did not come as advertised and that will always bug me about Spring.

3 scaly transformations out of 5

★★★☆☆