EVIL DEAD ft. Terrifier + Creep 2

Evil Dead, not be confused with The Evil Dead, is first-time writer/director Fede Alvarez’s 2013 semi-remake of the 1981 Sam Raimi classic. Dumb poster tagline aside, it’s an adept interpretation of the original. Nu-Dead didn’t fully hit the mark for me, but it stills reaches the lofty goal of my rewatchable zone.

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MR. JONES

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Going into Mr. Jones I was ready for the worst. Netflix predicted I would give it two stars and for someone like me to give a horror movie that bad of a rating surely meant the public reviews averaged out to be less than two stars. On the surface it looked like one of those movies where the budget is tiny and the story would be lacking. I anticipated a slow, boring trod through the woods with a 2-man cast and a bunch of creepy stick-scarecrows. Nothing scary or supernatural would happen and the ending would reveal the characters jumping at their own shadows, effectively wasting the viewers time. Basically, I prepared myself for a RIPOFF of The Blair Witch Project. Continue reading

SPRING

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OK. NIGHT TWO. BETTER KICK IT UP A NOTCH. THIS LOOKS SCARIER THAN A BUNCH OF MASQUERADING VAMPIRES FROM NEW ZEALAND.

one hour later

THIS STILL ISN’T SCARY.

five minutes later

OHHHHHHHH SHIT WHAT IS THAT!?!?

one half hour later

OH IT’S OVER.

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