There comes a time in every son’s life where their father extends some profound knowledge to the boy to help him ascend to the status of man. In the bizarro-world of Jim Hosking’s The Greasy Strangler the only sage advice available is EVERYTHING NEEDS MORE GREASE! Big Ronnie (Michael St. Michaels) suggests to his son Big Brayden (Sky Elobar) that maybe a little grease in his coffee would do him good. After all, “How would you know if you’ve never tried it?”

Becoming an adult takes a backseat to other oily priorities in this horror/comedy chock full of vile depravity from the director of the similarly themed ABC’s Of Death 2 segment “G is for Grandad”. Big Ronnie works a tough job during the day running a walking tour business that touches upon every shady spot disco stars (might have) graced with their presence. On top of that, he also has to put up with Big Brayden being his co-tour guide, so it’s no wonder Big Ronnie needs to let off some steam when the sun goes down. It just so happens that the way Big Ronnie gets his kicks is a little bit MESSY.

The Greasy Strangler doesn’t exactly fill the screen with GORE as you might think from the title but it does find other ways to get under your fat. If slaving over a steaming stove just to please your papa’s palette is your idea of a nightmare, then this film will knock your remaining clothing off. From mind-numbingly idiotic dialogue to mounds of fake pubic hair, this movie has it all! Ever had the fantasy of lathering up and gouging someone’s eyes out? Well you should probably call a therapist first, but your second move should be adding this sleazy spectacular to your queue! Just make sure you are fully prepared for over an hour of this.

Initially I was inclined to give The Greasy Strangler a ROTTEN review. I barely made it through to the end, my head aching from the annoyingly nonsensical, monotone delivery of the actors’ lines. I didn’t know why someone would take the time to create this DISGUSTING, humorless wreck. I decided to sleep on the experience and let my final thoughts formulate for some time. Meanwhile, I recommended the film to some friends who are also adventurous with their film selections and they gave it a watch. Soon after, we all started quoting the movie relentlessly, realizing how funny the characters and their actions were. It didn’t matter how unconventional The Greasy Strangler was compared to traditional medium. This shit was weird but it was funny! We ended up giving it a second viewing as a group and even created a drinking game out of the many catchphrases the movie thrusts forth from its filthy pelvis.

With a plot thick of sludge but thin of substance and an ending left to “interpretive thought”, The Greasy Strangler leaves me a craving more cholesterol. Maybe you won’t be able to endure/tolerate the entirety of The Greasy Strangler, you might not even give it the light of day. But if you give it a chance to seep into your pores, if you let the proverbial dog get fully dunked, you will certainly salvage some form of entertainment. If you don’t, then “I’m gonna have to call bullshit on that!”

4 prosthetic penises out of 5

★★★★☆