THE GREASY STRANGLER


There comes a time in every son’s life where their father extends some profound knowledge to the boy to help him ascend to the status of man. In the bizarro-world of Jim Hosking’s The Greasy Strangler the only sage advice available is EVERYTHING NEEDS MORE GREASE! Big Ronnie (Michael St. Michaels) suggests to his son Big Brayden (Sky Elobar) that maybe a little grease in his coffee would do him good. After all, “how would you know if you’ve never tried it?”

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HELL AND BACK

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I remember back when this came out I was intrigued. It had so many notable names attached to it and seemed like a good piss take of The Nightmare Before Christmas due to the type of animation. Although it piqued my interest, other more important films took up my time and I left Hell and Back for another MASSACRE MARATHON. Well, I finally got around to watching it and this was my face two minutes in.

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WOLFCOP

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This movie is a hoax people. Wrap it up and go home! What had the potential to be a tongue-in-cheek, grindhouse-style cult classic turned out to be one of the most boring, non-funny stack of shit pancakes I’ve ever had the displeasure of eating…WITH MY EYES! Nothing-is-good-about-this-schlock-fest-and-yes-I-know-I’m-getting-carried-away-but-I-just-want-to-get-this-over-with-so-I-can-stop-talking-about-WolfCop!

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HOUSEBOUND

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Welcome to MASSACRE MARATHON 2016! It seems to be a budding tradition that I must watch a comedy/horror out of New Zealand. Last year I started the celebrations with the excellent What We Do in the Shadows and tonight I kicked it all off with Housebound. I had heard pretty good things about the latter for a couple years now so I decided to test the validity of the warm reception. Jump on in folks, it’s time to party! Continue reading

TUSK

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It seems like this is the year of the horror/comedy. Almost every other film so far in the MASSACRE MARATHON has been funny or goofy. Tusk is no exception. Conceived during a Kevin Smith hosted podcast as a joke, Smith decided to take it all the way and make it into a feature film. He asked his fans, through a viral voting campaign, who would actually like to see this made. It turns out many people voted #WalrusYes.

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ZOMBEAVERS

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Yes, I’m serious. Zombeavers is exactly what it looks like. When a tank of toxic waste is released into a river the beavers get the brunt of it. Now blood hungry, the rodents find there way to a party cabin inhabited by a group of rowdy young adults. Thus, the battle of Man vs. Zombeaver begins.

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STAGE FRIGHT

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A musical to die for, literally. Stage Fright is a tongue-in-cheek production about a serious production. A camp for drama geeks is gearing up for what they hope will be a Broadway worthy performance. There is only one problem- a masked killer is on the loose with a vendetta against the musical. That won’t stop the cast and crew from getting their chance to shine. After all, the show must go on!

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