My Bloody Valentine…no, not that one! Ugh…FINE! My Bloody Valentine 3D is the 2009 remake/sequel to the 1981 slasher film of the same name- minus the 3D of course.

As if living in a small mining town isn’t creepy enough, a new killer has arrived and he is bumping off all townsfolk connected to an incident many years ago. Some terrible acting and poor writing later, the big stupid twist that I totally didn’t see coming from a mile away is revealed and the film shits out the credits. The original is undeserving of this slandering, but the generation that flocked to the theater most likely never heard of “the old one”, and that’s exactly what the makers of this crap were counting on. The only saving grace was the bloodiness of the kills, which probably looked even better in 3D. Other than that, hard pass.

2 pickaxes out of 5

★★☆☆☆