EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC ft. Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh + Ravenous

Everyone has told me to avoid Exorcist II: The Heretic for as long as I can remember and I was sure there was good reason to. Nevertheless, I want to watch the rest of the series and it’s not like me to consciously skip through parts of a franchise, so I had to gave it a crack. It turns out everyone was right.

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ABSENTIA ft. Night of the Comet + The Lighthouse

Writer/director Mike Flanagan has been killing it for the horror genre lately, between his solid follow-up to The Shining, Doctor Sleep, and his Netflix shows The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor. It’s safe to say after honing his craft with earlier features like Oculus, Hush, and Gerald’s Game, he has carved out a place for himself in the halls of creepiness with a style of his own. He has come a long way from his first spooky film Absentia.

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BONE TOMAHAWK ft. Killer Klowns from Outer Space + Spectral

Bone Tomahawk harkens back to times when men had nothing better to do than go out in a blaze of glory. An age where someone would get shot down in the middle of the saloon and everyone would go about their business. An era where one minute you are practicing exquisite etiquette and the next you are showing the savages the dangerous end of your repeater, only to die a hero.

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1BR ft. The Belko Experiment + The Last Witch Hunter

What would you do to find the perfect place to live while trying to break into the Hollywood fashion industry? Lie about pets? Take care of the elderly? What if I told you in order for your rental application to be accepted, you had to watch 1BR from start to finish every day for the next month? Oh, the HORROR!!!

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THE BLAIR THUMB ft. Chopping Mall + You Might Be the Killer

The “Thumb Parodies” are somewhat of a curious personal legend. All the way back in 2008, when I first joined Netflix, the series caught my eye and I added the short films to my queue. Ever since then, they have been there waiting, watching me as I added more and more movies in front of them on my list. Well, today they are ignored no longer. I have finally rented The Blair Thumb.

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THE MESSENGERS ft. Malevolent + In the Tall Grass

The Messengers takes me back to the distant time when lead Kristen Stewart (Twilight, Underwater) wasn’t world famous for being a sparkly vampire. God, saying that out loud makes me feel old.

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THE PRODIGY ft. Hereditary + Aftershock

Not the way I wanted to kick off my favorite season of the year. Despite the low expectations of a quarantined October, The Prodigy made me feel even worse.  Alas, I am excited to be released from my chains yet again to bring you horror movie madness all month long with 2020’s incarnation of the MASSACRE MARATHON!!!

The past two years I’ve held onto my marathon results, waiting for the perfect time to unleash my opinions into the putrid air of this hellscape we call home. Well, I no longer prolong…err…! Each night I will be bringing forth, in addition to the main feature, not one but TWO bonus reviews from the not so distant past. These extra musings will most likely only be snippets due to time constraints, but in the future I plan on giving the love and attention deserved to those films that are lucky enough to be rewatched.

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THE BABYSITTER

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A young boy gets curious about what his babysitter gets up to after he is put to bed. He spies on her and her friends playing an exceptionally mischievous game of truth or dare. The boy gets caught snooping and is brought downstairs to face the wrath of the evil sitter. Should have stayed upstairs, you little brat.

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GERALD’S GAME

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Well whaddaya know!? Another Stephen King flick! Here’s a little hint: There are many more King adaptations ahead this MASSACRE MARATHON. Will Netflix’s new Gerald’s Game live up to the box office titan that is IT or will it be a let down? Push on, dear reader…

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Letterboxd: A New Home?

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Just in case this Netflix stars-to-thumbs ratings simplification implementation isn’t revealed to be an elaborate “April Fool’s!” joke, I went and manually transferred all 1,668 of my movie ratings to https://letterboxd.com/moviemanster/. Feel free to drop on by, laugh at my poor taste, leave a snarky comment, or maybe even follow me on there to keep track of what trouble I get into next. This WordPress blog will still be the primary channel for all of my morbidly mangled reviews, but stay tuned to the Letterboxd for ratings of movies I don’t get around to reviewing, lists of upcoming films to watch out for, and other motion picture-related  nonsense!

Stay Evil