OK. NIGHT TWO. BETTER KICK IT UP A NOTCH. THIS LOOKS SCARIER THAN A BUNCH OF MASQUERADING VAMPIRES FROM NEW ZEALAND.
one hour later
THIS STILL ISN’T SCARY.
five minutes later
OHHHHHHHH SHIT WHAT IS THAT!?!?
one half hour later
OH IT’S OVER.
Author Archives: moviemanster
WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS
Welcome to the first installment of a very special event I hold close to my warm heart. Well, not my heart. My actual heart is dark and gloomy, cold and covered in bug-ridden pustules. No, this one isn’t mine, I just picked this heart out of the human waste pile at the hospital I work at. That’s right! Your very own Manster got his first job working the night shift mopping blood at Creely Sanatorium! What was I talking about? Oh, the MASSACRE MARATHON!!! I got a late start tonight but I have to be fully committed (considering last year I surprised myself and completed my goal of a WHOLE MONTH of movies every night and writing accompanying reviews!) so I feel obligated to stay up all night to finish this premiere post! I must meet the now standard expectation of 31 nights of horror! SO, without further ado (and before I clog the arteries of this paragraph like many parasitic tube worms with more phrases in parentheses) let’s get on with it!
THE TAKING OF DEBORAH LOGAN
I’ve had this movie on my radar for some time now. I was going to save it for this upcoming October but I realized I tend to say that about every horror movie on my list and that turns in to me not watching the genre as much as I would like. Also, I came across a jarring gif on the internet that had me stunned. When I found out it was from The Taking of Deborah Logan the movie got bumped to the top of my list!
I wasn’t necessarily expecting a found footage film when it started, but I think I’m so numbed to the sub-genre that it didn’t phase me at all. It wasn’t a typical shaky-cam intro, however. The beginning hosted the makings of a faux documentary and served as a great set-up. A medical student is filming her thesis on Alzheimer’s Disease and its effects on not only the victim, but the family and friends in close proximity. Deborah descends into the snares of the disease at a rapid pace, almost too quickly. The film crew witnesses some inexplicable events and begins to question what is really happening with Mrs. Logan.
IT FOLLOWS
Battered and weak, the feeble Manster retreated to the woods to find a shred of solace. He had been typing for days on end. His claws were bloodied. His black heart was thumping wildly. He needed a rest badly. His captors were hot on his trail and he didn’t know where else to run. His energy ran out and he collapsed face first in the snow.
Months passed…
He was frozen solid but deep in his slumber he could still hear the sounds of the drills. They had come to bring him back…
♆
I’m back baby! After October’s MASSACRE MARATHON I was beat but I have returned rested and rejuvenated with a brand new horror movie review of It Follows! A few weeks ago the hype for this limited release was frothing over the edge of the glass and it got me thinking that I might not get a chance to see It Follows if they don’t release it in regular nationwide theaters. So I decided to drive an hour and a half to the closest art house theater to sneak a peek. Two days later, the pot finally boiled over and It Follows went mainstream opening in every triple A theater from here to Transylvania. Just my luck! At least now I can be a hipster and say I saw it before it was cool.
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: MovieManster Name Change!
It has come to my attention that most of you brain-dead, driveling freaks will watch almost anything. But, why in God’s name, do you watch horror movies? I have seen a plethora of films in the genre. I would even go as far as to call myself an expert. However, recently I have been pondering one simple thought: Why do I continue to subject myself to this garbage?!
ARMY OF DARKNESS
Part 1: The Evil Dead
Part 2: Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn
♆♆♆- I have already seen this movie.
The third and final leg of Ash’s adventure, Army of Darkness, sees him (and his car) being transported back in time to the year 1300 AD. He is immediately discovered by a battalion of knights and brought as a prisoner to their castle. After proving he is not an enemy, the community relies on Ash and his knowledge of technology to stop the advances of the ancient evil dead. The 1992 film stars Bruce Campbell yet again, alongside Embeth Davidtz (Schindler’s List) in her first big American movie role.
EVIL DEAD II: DEAD BY DAWN
Part 1: The Evil Dead
♆♆♆- I have already seen this movie.
Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn is the 1987 semi-remake sequel to The Evil Dead starring look-alike actors portraying generally the same characters from the first film but within a different timeline, with Bruce Campbell reprising his role as Ash. This time around, Sam Raimi had a much larger budget to work with. This movie is great, but it fell short of being the best of the trilogy because of how humorous and over the top it was.
THE EVIL DEAD
♆♆♆- I have already seen this movie.
The classic of camp, Sam Raimi’s prized possession, The Evil Dead kicked off this year’s Halloween MASSACRE MARATHON trilogy! That’s right! I am not only reviewing the masterpiece that launched Raimi’s career, I’m taking on both sequels that followed! First, I would like to thank everyone that stopped by this season, whether it was for one review or you’ve been following my whole horrific journey this past month. I’m obviously not making any money from this, I’m not promoting for some company, I’m doing the MASSACRE MARATHON for myself and for my readers! It’s great fun to have a whole month dedicated to my favorite genre of film, but it is also hard work writing reviews for every day in October. I am proud to announce this year is the first year I have successfully written a review for every day and every movie in the MASSACRE MARATHON and let me tell you it feels great looking at that calender and seeing every single DAMN DAY highlighted! Now, without further ado…
DELIVER US FROM EVIL
I wanted to see Deliver Us From Evil when it was in theaters last summer but I never got around to it. I was delighted to find it at Redbox yesterday! It follows an NYPD detective who gets pulled into a paranormal case of possession. There have been a few run-of-the-mill entries into the possession genre lately, but this film is a breath of fresh air.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
MovieManster 