BLADE: TRINITY ft. The Shallows + Maniac Cop 2

I remember not having much interest when Blade: Trinity hit theaters back in 2004. I didn’t know or care who his new sidekicks were (or the actors that played them for that matter, Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds). I wasn’t a giant fan of the source material. I have nothing against Blade, I just haven’t read much of his comic book stuff, so I was never compelled to see it. I don’t even have a clear memory of the events in the first two films, save one iconic bloody rave scene. Now, 16 years later, I have finally gotten around to finishing out the trilogy.

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BONE TOMAHAWK ft. Killer Klowns from Outer Space + Spectral

Bone Tomahawk harkens back to times when men had nothing better to do than go out in a blaze of glory. An age where someone would get shot down in the middle of the saloon and everyone would go about their business. An era where one minute you are practicing exquisite etiquette and the next you are showing the savages the dangerous end of your repeater, only to die a hero.

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1BR ft. The Belko Experiment + The Last Witch Hunter

What would you do to find the perfect place to live while trying to break into the Hollywood fashion industry? Lie about pets? Take care of the elderly? What if I told you in order for your rental application to be accepted, you had to watch 1BR from start to finish every day for the next month? Oh, the HORROR!!!

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AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON ft. Doom + The Gate

John Landis’ (Animal House, Coming to America) passion project An American Werewolf in London is a comedy/horror hybrid known for its graphic, drawn out werewolf transformation scene. It also is known for shooting practical effects artist Rick Baker into stardom. In fact, Baker won the first ever Oscar for Best Makeup with his contribution to the film. Those things aside, I was a little let down with the overall package.

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RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION

♆♆♆Resident Evil♆♆♆Resident Evil: Apocalypse♆♆♆

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“All Bets Are Off”. Wow, not the tagline I would choose. That sounds like they are giving up on the franchise and just putting out whatever crap they can slap together. It’s a nod to Las Vegas, since that’s where the characters eventually end up, but it still doesn’t put forth a pleasant image. It undercuts the over-the-top but fun action film Resident Evil: Extinction provides.

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RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE

♆♆♆Resident EvilResident Evil: Extinction♆♆♆

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Remember when I said I hoped the sequel to Resident Evil would maintain the adrenaline rush? Well, Resident Evil: Apocalypse takes its predecessor’s existing drive and multiplies it by ten! Surely, this means Apocalypse is ten times better than the original, right? Wrong.

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RESIDENT EVIL

Resident Evil: ApocalypseResident Evil: Extinction

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Resident Evil is the film adaptation of the survival horror video game of the same name, and with a tagline like “Survive the horror!” you might think it follows closely to the source material. On the contrary, the film takes a very different approach compared to the first game. As a matter of fact, none of the characters from any of the games appear in the movie (to my knowledge). Knowing that, most would assume the film would flop and be forgotten quickly. Well, I’m here to tell you, despite poor reviews, Resident Evil sturdily cements its place in game-to-movie history.

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PREDATOR 2

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Predator 2 is on the menu, and while it’s probably not the best movie for generating jolly holiday spirit (see above), it serves up a wholesome platter of action and blood. To watch Predator 2 is to take a trip back to the early 90s, where bright neon was all the rage, gangbangers looked like gay strippers, and Gary Busey was still making the rounds. Yikes!

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