GOOD BOY ft. The Forest + Final Destination 5

I believe this is my first foray into Into the Dark on Hulu, the Blumhouse conception aimed to please those who run out to see any half-assed horror flick in theaters by producing these bite-sized, holiday themed options that are available right at home. I second-guess myself because there are so many now that it’s hard to keep track of what I may have turned on one random night before passing out in my Beefaroni. Into the Dark classifies itself as a TV anthology series, but I hate to break it to ya: when your “episodes” are all feature-lengths (80mins or above), are self-contained with completely different casts, and there are monthly gaps between releases, then they are movies not shows.

Continue reading

BONE TOMAHAWK ft. Killer Klowns from Outer Space + Spectral

Bone Tomahawk harkens back to times when men had nothing better to do than go out in a blaze of glory. An age where someone would get shot down in the middle of the saloon and everyone would go about their business. An era where one minute you are practicing exquisite etiquette and the next you are showing the savages the dangerous end of your repeater, only to die a hero.

Continue reading

THE MESSENGERS ft. Malevolent + In the Tall Grass

The Messengers takes me back to the distant time when lead Kristen Stewart (Twilight, Underwater) wasn’t world famous for being a sparkly vampire. God, saying that out loud makes me feel old.

Continue reading

I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE

i-am-the-pretty-thing-that-lives-in-the-house.58622.jpg

Netflix’s newest addition to their massive catalog of originals dropped a couple of nights ago, just in time for Halloween. The trailer didn’t pique my interest but with my list of HORROR available to stream near depleted, I decided to give it a chance.

Continue reading

INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3

Insidious-Chapter-3__18

When the first sequel to Insidious was announced I rolled my eyes. To my surprise it turned out to be a worthy addition to the story. When Insidious: Chapter 3 was announced I rolled my eyes even harder. I knew for a fact there was nowhere they could take this story that would result in something positive. My senses didn’t fail me.

Continue reading

CRIMSON PEAK

MV5BNTY2OTI5MjAyOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNTkzMjQ0NDE@._V1_SX640_SY720_

Crimson Peak markets itself as a dark, brooding horror story set in a creepy old house haunted by ghosts. To my surprise, it turned out to be nothing but a romance story with little to justify itself as horror. Sure, grotesque ghosts float through the halls of Allerdale Hall, but they are only afterthoughts in this film mainly concerned with soap opera twists and pulling on heartstrings.

Continue reading