Open Grave, starring Sharlto Copley (District 9, Elysium) and Erin Richards (Gotham), is about an amnesic man who wakes up in a large hole in the ground surrounded by DEAD BODIES. He is hoisted out by a mute woman and brought to a house in the woods where he, along with a small group of other people with missing memories, try to piece together who they are and what happened to them.
Love him or hate him, Rob Zombie has left his mark on the horror industry. His films are always graphic journeys into the DEPRAVED and 31 is no different. What started as a crowd-funded project has now finally hit the big screen (very briefly) to most critics’ dismay. While I didn’t hate 31, I wouldn’t say I was too thrilled either.
This was my official documentary of the season; I usually try to review at least one MORBID true tale every October. I believe I can keep this short and sweet, much like H.H. Holmes: AFSK did. Continue reading
After seeing the trailer for Sinister 2, I made the easy decision to avoid catching it in the theater. There are so many modern horror sequels that take a steep nosedive off of their predecessor’s success and this one appears to be no different, even on the surface. You would think whoever made the trailer would at least make an effort to cloud the the blatant DAMAGE done. Continue reading
What happens when a TAINTED chicken nugget makes its way from the factory to an elementary school student’s mouth? An epidemic of small proportions. Cooties is a 2015 comedy/horror film centered on a small town school where a health hazard sparks an ever-flowing torrent of zombie children. Elijah Wood (Lord of the Rings, Maniac) and Rainn Wilson (The Office, Super) attempt to lead a team of teachers to safety while using any object they find as a weapon against the “cootie-infected” kids. Continue reading
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Last year I ended the MASSACRE MARATHON with a BANG! I reviewed the first three films in the Saw franchise for the grand finale. I got an itch to continue on with the series, so this year I watched Saw IV. This is the first one that doesn’t feature James Wan or Leigh Whannell in any capacity while Darren Lynn Bousman (Repo! The Genetic Opera, Tales of Halloween) returns to direct for his third and final time. Continue reading
Finally, a movie I regret not going to see in the theater. It has been such a long time since the last (which I guess is a good thing), but so many times recently I’ve had the opposite reaction, where I go see something on a whim and I REGRET spending the high price of admission. If only I could take back one of those misfires and replace it with a screening of Goodnight Mommy. Continue reading
I remember back when this came out I was intrigued. It had so many notable names attached to it and seemed like a good piss take of The Nightmare Before Christmas due to the type of animation. Although it piqued my interest, other more important films took up my time and I left Hell and Back for another MASSACRE MARATHON. Well, I finally got around to watching it and this was my face two minutes in.
Going into Mr. Jones I was ready for the worst. Netflix predicted I would give it two stars and for someone like me to give a horror movie that bad of a rating surely meant the public reviews averaged out to be less than two stars. On the surface it looked like one of those movies where the budget is tiny and the story would be lacking. I anticipated a slow, boring trod through the woods with a 2-man cast and a bunch of creepy stick-scarecrows. Nothing scary or supernatural would happen and the ending would reveal the characters jumping at their own shadows, effectively wasting the viewers time. Basically, I prepared myself for a RIPOFF of The Blair Witch Project. Continue reading
A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night, or for the sake of this review, AGWHAAN, is an Iranian film noir focused on a slew of deadbeats in “Bad City” whose lives all become intertwined with a young vampire. The film is beautifully shot, with the black and white giving it a gloomy tone. Between the male lead’s ’50s bad boy attitude/style and the female lead’s angst-ridden record collection at some point I was waiting for The Smiths to start playing and for them to ditch the school dance to go read poems to each other in the woods. On a scale of grindhouse to arthouse AGWHAAN definitely throws its weight more on the stylistic side, lacking the substance to make first time director Ana Lily Amirpour’s effort really hit home (similar to the trap The Neon Demon fell into). Continue reading
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